An update
POSTED AT 03:58 PM

hottie_ice

This isn’t the time that I’ve decided to abandon this place completely. I’m just…well very busy with school and hobbies other than blogging. Of course, blogging is a consistent hobby of mine. I could not just resign to it. In a week or two without the idea of it, I feel a bit unproductive for it has been a very good outlet for creativity, insanities and usual rants. It’s been a long time though I actually write something meaningful and substantial in this particular space, I couldn’t help myself but to miss the stuff. No matter how I beg for free time, I don’t get some. I am desperate to have at least one free day, wherein I could do anything I want not related to school and fun in nature. Sure, being with your classmates is pure fun but can I just abstain myself with anything related to school for once? Sometimes I feel like hibernating, not that it is possible with human beings, but it is the term to describe. Hiding under a rock and doing things I want while at it or need to patch things up could define for what I meant of hibernation. Seriously, school requirements are eating my time. A person like me doesn’t have weekends. I always have classes during Saturdays and Sundays are filled with things to do like going to mass, reading a yet another lengthy psychology chapter, doing brain shrinking reaction papers and in the process of all I do get asleep without knowing I already did. And the other days of the week are still school days, sometimes my Wednesdays are free but I don’t think it’s enough. I know, it’s college, it’s fun but at the same time demanding.

Though I’m not about to complain how pathetic my life is nor do I fill a space of my blog with useless rants but I wanna write something, plainly anything. For progress perhaps or maybe…I dunno, you decide. So I ask you, why do you write in your blog anyway?

However, I refuse to talk about the happenings in life recently, it’s boring, bland and uninteresting. Maybe sometime, but not now, I’m not in the mood.

Anyway, speaking of laying low, like I’ve said I’m desperate for free time. Of course, I don’t have everyday to visit this place Rather; I decided to ‘lay low’ first, and instead of posting useless entries, I will be just changing my layout. Haha, sounds fun to me.

Sigh. Til next time.

Listening to: Motherland - Crystal Kay
Feeling: busy

Drained and degraded
POSTED AT 04:28 PM

hottie_ice

Writing has always been my hobby, and I don’t necessary consider it as a talent.

I once been a scriptwriter in our theater club in high school, it is a great credential after all, people had acknowledged it, but did I learn something from it?

That’s not my point though.

Recently, I had failed to write something here, anything from my emotional outburst to impromptu thoughts that are rapidly running in my mind just waiting to come out like I usually do. It is not due to lack of something to talk about but the lack of ideas to produce the right words for thoughts.

At this notion, it made me ponder that in one way or another, I have weak constitutions—or should I say it more leniently that it was just a mere lack of skill.

I believe that passion is not enough to keep you going, skill is much a great tool.


I grew more frustrated with my writing skill. Sure, I am passionate about it, but that isn’t enough. What I write cannot meet my own expectations anymore. I failed to at least please myself. I seek to be better but the circumstances choose otherwise. Time seems not enough to take me up a notch.

Drained – School demands a lot of paper work. I’m asked to write about topics not of my interests, not of my awareness, and yet I still try to generate an outcome the best I can. It has come to a point I felt myself struggle to come up with scientific-based paper oftentimes formally than rhetorically more suitable for the course matter. I’m running out of ideas, brain cells die to you know. The culprit of draining my conscious thoughts and stored knowledge is: the unhealthy demands of paper work.

Degraded – I’m going straight to the point—I have English class as a mandatory course for nursing. If I wanted to be better, then this might be a help but on the contrary, it does not.

The subject’s theme is grammar. It is an easy subject, too easy that it can be viewed as an insult to our ability, too easy that it is not helping anymore. In fact, none of my subjects in this first year nursing course is helping me in any way, except for logic that is, but very little. The mandatory subjects I’m taking are nothing but yet another demand in my already demanding life.

This English subject has degraded my ‘ability’ in such a way that it put you down in a level, much like working backwards. I mean grammar is essential but rudimentary…or maybe I really do suck at grammar.


Listening to: Home - Katherene McPhee
Feeling: drained