This is a scratch paper -- scribbles here and there, place for trial and error, skipping the tedious formal writing, erase and scrap out onto the way of perfection...after all this is a scratch paper

Entries for March, 2005

March 4th, 2005

Lost Summer
POSTED AT 10:38 PM

Nobody takes away my summer from me!

I dunno why I'm encountering this when in fact I dont really deserve it

My worries turned into hopelessness, what if that is really true? [oh c'mon she's plausible enough...]

I have to get back my 'life'

I'm losing my wits, I act colder than before...

'I fail'

Cant get what I'm saying?

Its too embarassing for you all to know...
Feeling: melancholy


March 14th, 2005

Cram!
POSTED AT 02:20 PM

 

Exams na bukas! di pa rin ako prepared, sana lahat pasado...

[hanggang asa lang naman ako eh]

tsaka na updates....


Reading: Biology II
Watching: ...
Feeling: restless


March 17th, 2005

Balderdash...
POSTED AT 09:14 PM

I didn’t even say goodbye nor offer a simple yet sincere ‘thank you or sorry’ to everybody before all ends....

School may be over, but I’m regretting all, from not studying whole-heartedly to giving an effort on making friends.

The point is, I’m not satisfied with my sophomore year. I should have done better.

I wasn’t able to unleash the true me,,, I once willing to share some enthusiasm but I failed to do so, in partly given time.

Let’s face it, for sure I’ll reminisce the happy moments with my former classmates though they acknowledge my presence ridiculously, sometimes a material of insult that is leading me again, to negative popularity.

Maybe a part of it is my fault, if I was that outgoing enough to mingle with those kids, they wouldn’t treat me such. I never like treating me that way....

One lesson learned: Laziness is futile

Di ko aakalain nakakalungkot pala, kung iisipin bihira lang mangyari ito, di ko pa nilibus-lubos.

Kung kailan huli na ang lahat tsaka lang ako hihirit.

Ano bang nangyari? Nabigla lang ba talaga ako? Kung alam ko lang sana ginawa ko na. Nasa huli ang pagsisisi. Ang oras ay ngayon na.

 

 

 
 

Reading: Al Bhed Theory
Listening to: Diary-Alicia Keys
Feeling: unaccomplished


March 28th, 2005

all vain
POSTED AT 11:29 AM

No, I’m not busy at all. In fact I found myself in most distressing state. This can be unusual, not especially summertime.

~ young as me, I vow myself to sacrifice recently this Holy week , yup pain all the way. I barely suffocate mingling with the people and all at ‘Quiapo’ last Good Friday,,, Talking ‘bout penitence...but it was well...um.. lugubrious experience. 

~I’m Grounded with capital “G”, duh... summer as in vacation, Nasty.

~and 2 weeks doing nothing... cant help but complain. 

...you see this is the worst summer.. EVER! Don’t wanna share, as if you care.

 ... I give up my summer for a worthless crap! Hell, spare me. Can’t I get a dose of my life for at least 2 months or so? I’m tired of sniveling... argh Give me a break. 

Didn’t mean to scrawl. Nothing will happen, if I sneer all the way... Got to face the truth, even if hurts much.                 

                                                          

 

Reading: sort of script aka none of your business
Listening to: Bring me to Life
Feeling: cursed


March 30th, 2005

---
POSTED AT 06:59 PM

I spend 3 days with 3 different girls: a bubbly one, a sulky one and a goody-goody notorious wannabe.

Though tired of calibrating towers, run into a mission not meant for us and surpassing a devastating colossus machina, but persistence will pay off in the end.

Just performing in repetition, aiming for 100% percent completion.  

What is it?


Reading: Why write?
Listening to: Lunes...
Feeling: stressed


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